Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Numero Tres

The story:

I am {usually} very in charge of my life and plans. I like things mapped out to a T 
(don't look in my phone notes or you will find the month and year that each child will be conceived and born...)  

So according to this plan, we were going to start trying for #3 in November or December of 2014, that way Alex would be about 3 when baby would be born. We wanted to space our kids out a little bit to be able to relax and enjoy (in our minds).  I had just gotten down to my desired weight; joined a gym and had been going regularly -- LOVING the hard classes; I was going to do a triathlon this summer; we were literally booking our tickets to Peru/South America for March to visit Machu Picchu.... 

and then BAM. 

Lives changed with a missed period and two little purple lines.

So I cried for a while. A few weeks probably. I was just not ready for this at all. Alex had barely turned one and wasn't walking or talking, had just broken his leg, we were sick non-stop with flus and fevers and ear infections, Claire had to get glasses, we had hand-foot-and-mouth disease and all sorts of bad luck happening in our house. Adding this news was just the icing on the cake. I don't mean to be insensitive or ungrateful, it's just huge life-changing news that's handled better when it's expected.  I wasn't ready for another c-section so soon and all the incredibly hard stuff that comes with having a newborn.  I wasn't ready for a bigger car, I wasn't ready for another crib and baby space to think about, I wasn't ready to be outnumbered!  

But I went ahead and started a journal and prayed to be more excited.

But slowly and surely, the fear and anxiety has been replaced with peace. I still have my moments when we're sitting in Costa Vida with both kids in tow and I think, "How the H are we going to do this with another one?" The answer is we're not. Ha. We won't be going out much at all. Which will be hard. Having number 3 will rock my world. And not just that it's 3, but that it's 3 under the age of 4. Alex and this baby will be 21 months apart (I know, it could be worse).  

I think it's partly why I waited so long to officially announce it, too. I just wasn't ready for it yet. The doctor said my chances of having placenta previa again went up and that we'd have to wait and see at the 20 week ultrasound.  Thanks to my family, we had a fast and lots of prayers were said in my behalf and I'm happy to report from the ultrasound today, that the placenta is right where it's supposed to be -- HIGH! 

Cute baby profile with hand up to face.

Today after ultrasound and large In 'n Out celebration meal:

No placenta previa! I was so worried about what I'd do on best rest with 2 young kids and all that it entails. But miracles happen and it scooted right up past my old incisions/scar tissue. So relieved about that. 

We aren't finding out gender on this one. We always said that we'd try to do that on baby #3 and especially now that we have a boy and a girl, it's going to be a surprise!  Hasn't been hard at all. Even at the ultrasound today when she kept telling us to look away, I wasn't tempted at all to look. Baby looks happy and healthy and we can't wait to see what another cute Garrison baby looks like!

And with this surprise, I have learned that I am not always the one in charge. I can plan my life and chances are, it'll go pretty close to that. But sometimes, God knows best and He is definitely in charge. This little one is meant to be here now and there's probably a reason.  I know it will be worth it and that this huge surprise will end up being one of the greatest surprises of my life. 


Tara said...

Just wanted to say congrats! Love your creative journal-keeping. We have a September 2012 baby and are due with our second in July :)

Katie said...

If anyone can do this, you can, Camille! You are Super Woman! We miss you guys and hope you are enjoying Highland! My parents are mostly living in CA now, so we aren't that way much, but when we are, we will have to be sure to stop by! :)

Erin said...

So excited for you guys!!! Henry was a total surprise baby for us, and I remember feeling so overwhelmed! Clark had just started law school when we found out, and Henry was due right in the middle of his 2nd semester finals. Not to mention clarkie and henry are only 17 months apart! But you are so right, Heavenly Father has a plan for your family, even if it's not the same as yours :) We are hoping to be in Utah at the end of June/early July, would love to see you guys!

Rachel said...

That is so great about the placenta previa, what a blessing! I am so excited for you guys. You look so beautiful pregnant, lucky girl :)

Whittney Clark said...

You guys are awesome! Baby is joining a wonderful family and everything will fall into place. It is hard to imagine babies so close. We've had our freak out moments too. But ready or not here we go! I'm so excited for you guys!

Molly said...

Congratulations! Being outnumbered is hard, but Claire will grow up so much in the next few months. She's going to be such a big helper! Having babies close is exhausting, but a lot of fun! You're going to do great :) We know what it's like...And, it's worth it! If you ever need to talk to someone who has really been there, let me know!

Eric and Alexis Beus said...

Congratulations! So excited for you! My second was a surprise and they are 16 months apart, so I totally understand how you feel. I felt the same way. And how fun that you are waiting to find out the gender! Can't wait to find out! :)